The Surprising Truth About the Lies You Tell Yourself

Your negative voices actually have some truth to them. Those voices that say things like: “You aren’t as good of a leader as so-and-so.” “You can’t sell like Joe. He’s the top salesman.” Those voices are often right. Yes, Mr. Positivity is telling you that those negative voices are often grounded in truth. But they are missing one word. That’s what makes them lies. We’ll get to that shortly.

You aren't who you are called to be yet

You aren’t who you are called to be…YET. (Tweet That) | Share this Graphic on Pinterest | Share on Facebook

My book vs. my voices: The battle within

As I stepped out into the cold night air, foolishly forgetting that I no longer live in the south and wearing only shorts, a T-Shirt, and slippers, a horrifying thought gripped me.

Your book won’t be good enough. You can’t write like a bestselling author. Who are you to think you can write like that?”

Instantly, I felt deflated. Depression took hold.

My fears were speaking to me! And I was listening to them.

For the next few moments I battled a feeling which is familiar to anyone who dreams of anything big. Inside of me, a war raged. The night grew colder still, my mind raced, my heartbeat quickened, and darkness overtook my soul.

Yes, it was that dramatic.

I felt sick.

And then…

As I waited for our dog to finish his business, I realized something powerful:

What if my negative voices were actually right?

What if my first book was a flop?

What if?

My voices weren’t lying, per se. It’s true…I’m not as good of a fiction writer as others…and then came that missing word. That one word that changes truth to lies and lies to truth.


Why should I be as good as the bestsellers? I’ve never written fiction. I’ve never even written a full book before.

So I made peace with my fears. I acknowledged my negative voices. I said to them:

“It’s OK. I am OK with not being as good as the others….yet.”

What your voices say

Your voices tell you that you aren’t a superstar now. They tell you that you don’t have all of the skills or contacts or knowledge today.

And it’s true. You probably don’t.

Your voices aren’t lying. They are just stating facts.

Somehow, though, we add on extra words like “never.” We twist our voice’s words. “Can’t now” becomes “will never.” “You aren’t” becomes “You’ll never.”

The missing “yet” morphs from the key to your future success into the wall you never climb over.

The dreams of billions of people lie at the feet of the missing “yet.”

The cures for diseases, the billion-dollar idea, the invention that feeds the world…all lie at the feet of the missing “yet.”

Because a voice said “you can’t now” and you heard “you never will.”

But that stops today!

It ends now.

Your attitude from this point forward is:

“So what?”

“So what if I don’t have all the skills now?”

“So what if I don’t know anyone in that field.”

“So what if I don’t know how to do what I am called to do.”

You will have all of those things in time.

Agree with what your voices are really telling you. You aren’t who you are called to be…


But you will be. And you will change the world.

Action item: Identify the truth in one of your voices that you think is negative. Add the appropriate qualifier, such as “yet,” to make it true.

Question: What are you not yet that you will become? Declare it below in the comments. You can leave a comment by clicking here.

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  • Brett Thompson

    I am not a father. YET.

    My voices tell me it will never happen, but I know that we will someday.

    • Wow Brett. I love that.

      You will be a father someday.

    • Very true! My friend Mark Sieverkropp has something to say about that :)

    • Praying that you’ll be blessed with fatherhood one of these days. Sometimes it doesn’t happen according to our schedule or in the way we think it will. Don’t give up hope!

    • Brett praying for you this morning. My wife and I struggled through multiple miscarriages for years. One of the more painful things in my life. We now have three kids and our youngest is named Hope. Hold onto hope! Blessings.

  • Steve Pate

    well I had that with learning the Bass guitar. Originally I’m a drummer, and it so happens I married one too. And for the most part she is a “little” better than me at it. Any ways. I’ve always wanted to learn but I used to tell my self, “I don’t have the time, the gear, and I wont be as good as so and so.”

    But when i changed my attitude and my paradigm, i looked outside the box, and found a friends bass that he was never using and started practicing. I saved up my tips from snowmobile tours, and paid cash on a bass I was watching for about a year. Then after my brother in law saw I was serious player, he grave me a really nice amp that he was no longer using.

    So I started telling my self, I am a musician, just because I’m not so and so, doesn’t mean I can’t play. The to play well you need to learn the right techniques but more importantly, take the guitar off the wall and plug it in and just start. So, i’m a bass player but not a jazz/funk player YET, BUT I WILL BE.

  • Great post Matt. Easy to let fear stick and cause us to inflame our thoughts.
    I can’t make a living out of my platform yet.
    Yet is much better then never. Have a great weekend Matt. :)

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