Parenting is the hardest, most rewarding job there is on this planet. The pay stinks, the hours are long, and you can never truly leave work at work. And, at least in our home, most of the work falls on the mom. So to all of the moms and especially to my wife and mother, thank you.

6 type of moms
What type of mom (or dad) are you? @LilyKreitinger shares the 6 types of moms. (Tweet That) | Share this Graphic on Pinterest | Share on Facebook

With that said, what kind of mom (or dad) are you? Lily Kreitinger shares the six types of moms below. Although they are about moms specifically, I think you dads will relate. Take it away Lily…

I Have Turned into My Mother!

Two weeks ago I went to Nashville, Tennessee for a LifePlan with Chris LoCurto. When I got home, my six-year old daughter asked about our trip. I told her I had ice cream for dessert. Sweets really affect my mood, so she looked at me and said “Did you turn into Monster Mom? I am so going to your doctor’s appointment and telling on you, Missy!” At that point, I thought, “Oh, no! I just had an encounter with Mini Me.”
Today I will share six different mom types that can help you better understand who you are today so you don’t have to say regretfully “I have turned into my Mother!”

Phantom Mom

You may have had a Phantom Mom if you spent a lot of time in your room while she spent a lot of time in hers and got birthday cards addressed “To Whom it May Concern.” You know when relationships get past the point of no return and find quick ways to bow out when things get too close for comfort.

Action item: Find one or two people you can trust, who can provide the encouragement and support you have been trying to find.

China Doll Mom 

The second type is the China Doll Mom. This mom wants everyone to “turn their frown upside down” because she can’t deal with pain, anger or “bad feelings.” You may have had this kind of mom, if instead of friends you have “pet projects.”

Action item: Find a group of friends with whom you can be yourself. You will find that vulnerability is not scary, and that it is the courageous path for true connection.

Controlling Mom

The Controlling Mom is very easy to spot. Mother knows best. You’d better stay here in the tower, little Rapunzel, because out there, the world will eat you alive. You may have had a controlling mom if you find yourself volunteering on every committee, juggling work, family and friends’ requests and end up each day exhausted wondering when it will be your turn.

Action item: Find out what you like. Say no to your neighbor when they ask you to babysit. Sing Let It Go at the top of your lungs.

Trophy Mom

The Trophy Mom will tackle the coach and pin them to the ground if she feels you have been cheated out of an opportunity to shine at the championship game. You do not dare disappoint her. Ever. How do you deal with Trophy Mom’s voice in your head? With this action item:

Action item: Write a list of everything that you heard that is a lie. “Failure is not an option.” “Give it your all and make me proud.” “We are not quitters or losers.” Then, write a list of what you know to be true starting with “I am good enough, and I don’t have to be perfect.”


The Still-the-Boss Mom

My mother-in-law, may she rest in peace, was one of these. She would come into my house, plan a menu for my guests, cook and serve the meal and assign seating at my table. She had a hard time treating her six children as adults. If your mom wants to be the boss, whether she is living or just a voice in your head, follow this action item:

Action item: Find a group of people who recognize your amazing talents and qualities and see you as the amazing adult you are.


The American Express Mom

The American Express Mom, says it all. You don’t leave home without her. My mom is one of those. I’ve been married for ten years and she still does my laundry when she comes to visit. She expects a phone call every week and wants me to check in when I’m going on vacation, just to make sure I’m safe. Hello, we live 3000 miles apart. What difference does it make if I’m in Minnesota or Hawaii? To detach myself, I had to set hard boundaries for now. I am pretty sure I am banned to enter Mexico and I will soon hear a knock on the door when she sends out a SWAT team to rescue me from the people who have brainwashed me out of her power.

Action item: Set boundaries. Define specific things that you will do and will not do and the same for her. This will likely be hard, but it is worth it.

This is not a mom-bashing topic. Put on your big kid pants and get off the therapist’s couch. Come to a place where you can understand your mom and realize that anything she did was the fruit of her own upbringing. Forgive her and love her or her memory for who she is, and not for whom you would want her to be.
To learn more about this topic, read The Mom Factor by Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
Which type of mom do you most relate to?

9 thoughts on “The 6 Types of Moms (And Dads, Too)

  1. Zechariah Newman says:

    Great post Lily. Happy mothers day.

  2. Joshua Rivers says:

    I can relate myself most the the phantom. I can easily find myself getting wrapped up in working on things that my time with my family is minimal. And that time might be shallow. Luckily, I’m not always like this, and I work on fighting this.

    1. Lily Kreitinger says:

      You’re aware of it and it’s just a season in life, Josh. You’re hustling right now so you and your family can have a much better future. You rock!!

    2. Matt McWilliams says:

      I had a phantom mother. Mostly because she was a single mom working 3 jobs just to keep me clothed and fed. My phantom dad was for different reasons.
      I feel you Joshua…that’s why we’re about to go spend 3-4 hours at the zoo in an hour 🙂

      1. Joshua Rivers says:

        That’s awesome, Matt. The zoo, that is.

      2. Lily Kreitinger says:

        Have fun, Matt!!!

  3. I chuckled as I read this…I found myself saying “Oh that’s my mom” or “that’s my friend so and so”.
    For me, I probably most relate to being the boss. God’s working on me 🙂

    1. Lily Kreitinger says:

      Glad it brought a smile on, TC. I recognized a few people on there two, as you read. Working on being the best mom I can be! 🙂

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