How to Let Go of Expectations & Get Your Confidence Back After Defeat

You had great expectations, but you fell short. Now what? How do you let go of expectations and regain your confidence?


Five steps for letting go of expectations and getting your confidence back. (Tweet That)

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If you missed part one yesterday, check it out here.

As promised yesterday, today I give you my five steps for letting go of expectations and getting your confidence back.

  1. Give yourself grace. Be nice to yourself. Don’t call yourself a name or tell others how pathetic you are. Talk to yourself as you would a hurting friend. It really is going to be OK.
  2. Remember: Perfection is not the goal. For at least this brief moment, remind yourself that perfection is not the goal. Whether its golf, sales, or writing blog posts, not every effort is going to be your best. There are too many variables. For just a moment, remember that.
  3. Remind yourself: Failure is not the enemy. Learn from failure. It truly is a building block to success. Use it.
  4. See the opportunity to recover. When I missed a shot in golf, it (usually) left an opportunity to recover. The fact is that I could be sixty feet from the hole in a bunker and my opponent could be ten feet from the hole on the green and I still have a good chance to tie him and a small chance to beat him on the hole. In other words, look at the bright side and look for a chance to redeem yourself.
  5. Get back on track. Your great memories and confidence didn’t work last time? Well…use them again. It’s still a good idea to recall memories and build confidence. So don’t quit doing the right things just because they didn’t work one time. Get back on track.

You’ll notice that it is a progression that goes the opposite of what you normally would think. It goes from the outside-in.

The first part is to simply not make it worse. Don’t be mean to yourself. That is external.

Then you move inside, remembering your goals, embracing failure, seeing opportunities, and then getting your inner confidence back.

Remember these five steps the next time you need to let go of the expectations you built and get your swagger back.

What would you add to this list?

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