hearYour words, to yourself and others, hold immense power.

I recently had the pleasure of writing an article for FeedFront Magazine about positive psychology for affiliate marketers. But the principles apply to anyone.

Here is an excerpt:

You are what you hear. You become what you say about yourself and what others say about you. If you speak negative words to yourself, your chances for success are minimal. If others around you are constantly questioning your dreams, achieving them is almost impossible.

Controlling your own thoughts and words toward yourself is the easy part. For most of my life I’ve been a pessimist who never failed to see the cloud in every silver lining. Only recently when I learned to speak positively about my situation, my future, and myself did I begin to see real achievement.

You can read the full article here (Page 11)

What steps do you need to take to avoid negative self-talk or negative talk from others?

7 thoughts on “You Are What You Hear

  1. Kevin O'Donnell says:

    might mean you need to get new friends and spend less time with certain family

    Ouch. I don’t like that one, but I know I need to do it. Any tips? I mean what exactly do you do to make that happen? Especially family.

    1. Matt McWilliams says:

      Actually I do, one brilliant one courtesy of Jack Canfield…

      I’ll share later tonight. It’s daddy-daughter time for a while 🙂

      1. Matt McWilliams says:


        Great question. As the old saying goes, you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends.

        For the life I don’t remember where I heard it but I am 95% sure it was Jack Canfield who shared this. He talked about a lady who felt her in-laws were so toxic at Christmas that she no longer wanted to be around them. But…she really loved her mother-in-law and did not want to hurt her feelings. Jack told this lady to call her mother-in-law and tell her just that. To tell her that she wanted to see her but that the others were just too much of a drag. Then she said that she wanted to come the week after Christmas so they still got to see her.

        The reality is that doing so will actually make the mother-in-law feel special. That they would make a special trip just for her. They were rewarded with more intimate time with a person they loved and respected.

        I’ve found that outside of very immediate family (parents, children, and siblings) you can usually get away with cutting off contact. You don’t have to spend time with them and they won’t make your life miserable if you don’t. I think you just kind of do it…you stop going to the reunions, dinners, etc.

        The same goes for anyone really. If they ask why and you care enough for them to know, tell them why. There is a decent chance they will change.

        All of this goes for anyone in your life. Friends you see, friends on Facebook, people in forums or on blogs. A lot of forums have an ignore feature. USE IT!

        I don’t know that I gave you any concrete tips Kevin but I hope these help. I haven’t had to do it with many people and I am sure some people have done it with me. The best way is to usually just let it happen. Have the courage to do so!

      2. Jeremy Carver says:

        Tough conversation guys. Just being transparent… I had to push way away from a very close family member. My family (wife, son, & me) has been positively impacted by that decision & it definitely was the right decision. However, I deal with the guilt that comes from knowing that this person feels as if they deserve better. Toxic people don’t believe that they are toxic, and will never understand until they are ready. Manhood’s confusing.

      3. Matt McWilliams says:

        Glad to hear from someone who has gone through it. It can’t be easy.

        Coming from a someone who has been toxic, you are right. We don’t we are toxic.

        Quote of the week: “Manhood’s confusing.” Love it!

      4. Kevin O'Donnell says:

        That guilt is part of what I am afraid of too, but it’s great to hear it worked out. I have one friend that just needs to be cut off.

      5. Kevin O'Donnell says:

        Thanks Matt!

        You actually did help.

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