When is Fear OK?

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Fear is usually the enemy, but sometimes it is OK. The story below illustrates when.

Cobra eye
When is fear OK? @MattMcWilliams2 has the answer. Hint: It involves snakes. (Click to Tweet)
 

I’ve written before about talking back to fear, the benefit of fear, and even how fear gets in your head. These are all great posts and the second one even shows how fear can be used to show you your true purpose.

But generally, fear is negative. It’s the enemy to be confronted, battled with, and destroyed.

Except where there are cobras.

That’s right. Cobras. When there are cobras, fear is OK.

I played golf at the University of Tennessee (Go Vols!) for legendary coach Mike Malarkey. Before I arrived, he had been there for approximately 317 years. One of his players in the late 1970′s was Ricky Gregg.

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As Opposed To…?

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Sometimes I have to wonder about product names.

My wife and I occasionally find enjoyment in shopping at the dollar store. She for the great deals on some products. Me for things like this:

Wearable Birthday Hats

Kind of makes me wonder where they sell “Unwearable Birthday Hats?”

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In Fun Stuff
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How to Find a Mentor

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“Help! I need a mentor.”

Mentoring relationship
You will find a mentor if you follow these steps and seek one like you need it, because you do. (Click to Tweet)
 

That was the message I essentially got from a reader recently. His actual email went like this:

I just saw your post about going to meet with your mentor and so I thought I’d ask you, “how do/did you find your mentors? This may sound strange, but most of my entire career has been spent in search of great mentors, and I consistently come up empty. I always read, in leadership books, the importance of having great mentors but good grief, I have failed miserably at finding them. I’ve asked at work, which usually involves me being placed into “mentoring programs” (actually this is funny; I was put into a mentoring program last year, am now leading that program and still don’t have a mentor). Aghhhhhh!! So what’s the key? Who do I ask? Where do I look? Maybe this is a good topic for a blog post too because I know others struggle as well, but NO ONE could have possible have had as much trouble as me with this. Any suggestions?

I wish I could say I did it all the right way, but I didn’t. Here’s how the first four years of my spiritual mentor search went:

  1. Determined I needed a mentor.
  2. Had a guy ask to mentor me.
  3. Took that for granted and did nothing with it.
  4. Waited four more years and did nothing. Hoping that the Mentor Fairy would plop one into my lap.

The Mentor Fairy never showed up.

I finally gave myself an ultimatum. I would find the right mentor soon. And I did.

Here’s what worked for me.

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In Personal Growth
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The Miracle of Mentoring

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Where have all the mentors gone?

Miracle of Mentoring - Passing the Torch
The Miracle of Mentoring is that it gets us out of our own confined reality and turns the focus on others. (Click to Tweet)
 

I recently had lunch with a friend and the topic of mentoring came up. My friend is short on time. His schedule is crammed already and he feels like he hardly has time to breathe.

So what advice did I give him?

To mentor someone.

Yes, that is right. I suggested he spend an additional two hours each week mentoring someone.

The lost art

Mentoring has become a lost art. I think it is due, in part, to availability of information at our fingertips 24/7. Who needs a mentor when we have Google, right?

But Google won’t ask the tough questions that you need to be asked in life.

Google won’t ask you what God looks like or why you really hired that person or what’s keeping you awake at night.

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14 Ways to Get Employees’ Families to Love You

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One of the most important things you can do as a leader is to make sure your team members’ families are on board.

Hands stacked on top of each other
Leaders need the support of team members’ families. Here are 14 ways to get it. (Click to Tweet)
 

They need to buy in to your mission and support the family member’s efforts to help the organization.

14 ways to get a team member’s family to love you and feel a part of the team:

  1. Give a raise…at a non-traditional time. Like today, for instance. Or next Tuesday. Just make it outside of your normal raise routine (i.e. annual review).
  2. Write a handwritten note to the team member. News flash…people share notes like this with their families.
  3. Write the family a note. Thank them for allowing their father/mother to be a part of the team and tell them how great of a job he or she is doing.
  4. Send them on a date night together. One of the best gifts I ever purchased for a team member was a $100 gift card to a nice restaurant. I booked and paid for their babysitter and let him off work an hour early to go get ready. 
  5. Share the organization’s history and mission with them. Take the time to share the history and mission with the family and invite them to ask questions. Share heart-warming stories of how the organization started, why it exists, and where it is going.
  6. Support your team’s dreams. Attend an event outside of work that your team member does as a hobby. I once had a programmer who was close to leaving our team. That is until I attended his band’s concert at a local coffee shop. I sat there with a fellow programmer, the CEO and his wife, and enjoyed a night of good music and puffed pastries. But more importantly, I supported his dream. He was still with the company three years later.

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A Different Way of Saying It: A Communication Lesson from Nutiva

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Sometimes all it takes to communicate effectively is to say the same thing everyone else is saying…just differently.

Take Nutiva Coconut Oil for example:

Nutiva Coconut Oil Cholesterol Free

Did you catch their message?

They easily could have said “Cholesterol Free.” But, instead, they said, “100% Less Cholesterol than Butter.”

I am not a math whiz, but 100% less than anything is ZERO.

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You Can Make Others Believe

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You can’t make someone else want something as bad as you.

Or can you?

 
Flock of SheepLeaders cause others to see what they see, want what they want, and believe in the unbelievable. (Click to Tweet)
 

When you want something bad enough, it consumes your thoughts. You visualize it. You cut out pictures of what you want and put it on your bathroom mirror. You pray for it. You share your longing with others.

But you’ve been told that you can’t make others believe. If you are a leader, you’re told that no one will want what you want as bad as you want it. You’ve been told that you can’t make others see what you see. You’ve been lied to

As a leader in business, at home, or anywhere you lead, you can help others to believe. You can cause others to see what you see, want what you want, and believe in the unbelievable.

I found proof in the ancient Scriptures.

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So What You’re Saying Is…?

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I feel like they’re trying to tell me something…

toilet-signs

I’ve advocated for overcommunication as a leader, but this goes a little too far. I’m sure there is a leadership lesson you could digest from this…if you tried hard enough.

So, the question of the day is…would you use it?

In Humor
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When You Always Won

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The greatest gift you can give anyone is the opportunity and encouragement to imagine great things.

Child holding a medal for winningImagination gives you a destination. (Click to Tweet)
 

When I was a kid, in my imagination it was always the bottom of the ninth inning. The bases were always loaded. There were always two outs. We were always down by three runs.

And we always won! I always hit that home run!

I was always the player and commentator. In basketball, I could always here the voice saying to the millions of fans watching:

Down by one…six seconds left…McWilliams drives right…drives left…3…2…1…the shot if off…and it’s GOOD! It’s GOOD! The crowd goes wild.

We always won! I always made the shot.

If I was really shooting and I missed, I was always fouled. I always had a chance to win.

As a high school student, I no longer played baseball or basketball except for fun. I played golf.

I must have won the U.S. Open and Masters a thousand times every year. Often on the practice green, often on carpet of my college dorm room, but most often just in my head.

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Doing the Basics, Better

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Success in any endeavor is rooted in the fundamentals.

Steve Wynn' Secret to Success: Doing the Basics Better The team that wins is the team that does the basics, better. (Click to Tweet)
 

Steve Wynn, the hotel and casino magnate, realized as they were about to break ground on the first hotel bearing his name that there wasn’t much “newness” that he could bring to the hotel business. So, he went back to the basics. He focused on the fundamentals of a great hotel.

Everything about the project from that point forward was, in Wynn’s words, about “doing the basics, better.”

The best quality sheets. Each room close to the elevators. Cleanliness. Good food readily available. Great service.

Those are the basics in the industry. And he set out to do them better than anyone else.

Fundamentals are not cool

Innovation such as the new $40,000 CRM and high-tech help desk software are a whole lot cooler than answering a call by the third ring and smiling at customers. They require special training that can only be taught by high-priced consultants, new lingo, and upgrades every 90 seconds. But without the basics, they are utterly useless.

Technology will never replace intention. Technology will never put a smile on a customer service rep’s face. It will never force a call to be answered quickly or help you handle a rude customer with grace. Only sound training in the basics will.

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A Day That Can Change Our Country

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May 11 can change our country, but you probably don’t know why.

I believe it’s one of the most important days of the year, though...Lemonade Day.

Before you brush me off in laughter, let me explain what Lemonade Day is and isn’t. It’s not a national day to celebrate the sweet and sour drink. Personally, I don’t even like lemonade (I know, I should probably renounce my citizenship and move to North Korea while I am at it).

Lemonade Day is all about entrepreneurship. This video tells it all:

I love the description they provide on their site, LemonadeDay.org:

America was built on the back of small business. Entrepreneurs used to take risks believing they could realize their dream if they worked hard, took responsibility and were good stewards of their resources. Today’s youth share that optimism, but lack the life skills, mentorship and real-world experience necessary to be successful.

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The Lie of Influence

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Influence isn’t something that you can measure with numbers.

Mentoring a child is real influence Influencers don’t get with the program. They define the program. (Click to Tweet)
 

I used to care about things like my Klout score, my Twitter followers, and my blog subscribers. One day twenty people would sign-up, the next day only three. And I’d wonder, “What did I do wrong on the three-subscriber day?”

But a funny thing often happened on those days. Those were the days when I got emails and comments that said:

Your post today changed my life.

I now have the courage to talk to my boss.

I will be a better father today.

When I get to work, I’m going to finally have that talk I’ve needed to have with one of my team members.

Thank you for being there and sharing your life with your friends/fans/followers!

Comments and emails like that are immeasurable.

How do you put a number on “changed my life?”

How do you quantify “courage to talk to my boss?”

What is the value of making one father better?

One changed life, one courageous employee standing up for his beliefs, one better father. The impact of those three things could reach beyond my wildest imagination.

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