I had the day all planned out. We arrived at Sea World right on time, all thirteen of us. First we could watch the dolphins, then ride our first roller coaster, then later in the day at 5:00pm sharp, the whale show. Everything was going perfectly…until the rain came.
Ten minutes into the whale show, the skies darkened and then opened with a vengeance. The radar showed that the rain would not let up for hours. The show was cancelled and the day, it seemed, was ruined.
Someone recently asked me an interesting question. “Aren’t you afraid that you’re indoctrinating your daughter?” I answered the question with a question of my own: If you don’t indoctrinate your children, who will?
NOTE: By the time you read this, my wife and I will most likely have welcomed our second child into the world, so naturally the topic of parenting is forefront on my heart and mind right now. That said, much of this post applies to anyone that you may lead.
Why I am Not Afraid of Indoctrinating Children (The Right Way)
I am not afraid at all of indoctrinating our daughter (or our future children).
The reality of the world is that someone is going to do it. Whether it’s the media, the latest pop artist, advertisers, or their friends at school, everyone else is attempting to influence her, so it’s my job to do it the right way.
Has anyone ever spoken words over you that changed the course of your life? Have you ever heard or read something that ignited something on the inside of you that forever changed who you are? Then you know the power of words. And it’s the words that you say, that you declare, that hold the key to unleashing your full potential.
By the time you read this, I might be cradling a newborn baby in my arms. As I write this, my wife, Tara, is due with our second child any day now. So, naturally, my mind is racing with thoughts of all the things I’ll need to do for this child as his or her father.
I recently made a terrible parenting mistake. One that I swore I would never make. I’ve seen far too many well-intentioned people make this mistake. They want to prevent a loved one or someone they lead from feeling pain, making mistakes, embarrassing themselves, or accidentally going against a social norm.
What was that terrible mistake that I made?
I told our four-year old daughter, Aracelli, not to play in the mud. Worse, I got mad at her for doing so.
That may not seem like a big deal to some of you. After all, there are important things to protect. Like our carpet, her clothes, and her lady-like behavior.
What do you do when you reach the point that your punch-the-clock job is no longer an option? What do you do when you realize that you are virtually unemployable?
Today’s guest knows exactly what that is like. Eleven years ago, she made the decision to stay at home with her two sons and to start a new business. After many ups and downs, her new vision is to inspire other parents to create their own successful parent entrepreneur lifestyles. She is encouraging others to make the time and the money to be able to raise their kids and enjoy the fruits of their labors.
About Mary Kathryn Johnson
Mary is the founder and host of Parent Entrepreneur Power, and if you ever asked yourself:
“What Power Tools do successful Parent Entrepreneurs use that I can use too?”
“How do other parents in business successfully juggle their entrepreneurial duties with kids?”
“What resources can I use to stay focused on my Freedom-based business?”
Then Mary is THE go-to expert on the subject.
If you don’t indoctrinate your children, who will?
I was recently asked by an acquaintance if I was afraid I was indoctrinating our three-year old daughter, Aracelli. I responded with a question of my own, the one I ask above.
No, I am not afraid of indoctrinating our daughter. In fact, I am intentional about it.
You have to choose who will indoctrinate your kids. You…or everyone else. (Tweet That) | Share this Graphic on Pinterest | Share on Facebook
The media is going to indoctrinate your kids into thinking that girls should act like sluts (Harsh word? Maybe, but I submit Miley Cyrus as proof). That’s how much of the world is going to tell our daughter how to act. And it’s going to indoctrinate boys into finding it attractive.
So by all means, indoctrinate them to think otherwise.
That is, unless you want a pregnant 16-year old with her third STD. In that case, go right ahead and let the television and her friends indoctrinate her.
Big food corporations are going to try to indoctrinate your kids (and you) into craving foods that kill you. Even worse, they will make you think they are healthy.
This was a message that I cheered loudly…in my own house.
Dave Ramsey’s topic is student loan debt, but the underlying message is all about leadership. His advice can apply to any aspect of leadership, as a parent or in the workplace.
Loving your children or those who work with you means guiding them well. And that means helping them avoid stupid decisions…
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If you are a parent, who are you really raising?
If you are a leader at work, who are you really leading?
When you look at these two questions the right way, it changes everything.
For the parents
Parents, you are not raising children, you are raising adults. (Tweet that)
When I look at our two-and-a-half year old daughter, Aracelli, it’s hard for me to look past her adorable eyes and see a grown woman someday soon. It’s hard for me realize that while she struggles now with pronouncing the letter “L” correctly (she makes a “W” sound), she may one day speak in front of thousands of people. It’s hard for me to see past her innocence and her purity.
Where have all the mentors gone?
I recently had lunch with a friend and the topic of mentoring came up. My friend is short on time. His schedule is crammed already and he feels like he hardly has time to breathe.
So what advice did I give him?
To mentor someone.
Yes, that is right. I suggested he spend an additional two hours each week mentoring someone.
“I am proud of you.”
When is the last time you heard that?
When is the last time you told a team member or colleague that?
Every night that I am home, which is most nights, I hold our nearly daughter in my arms and rock her in a chair before putting her in the crib. Every night she hears those exact words from me. She hears them other times as well, but she always hears them then. No matter what happened that day; no matter how she acted or what she did or didn’t do, she hears those words: “I am proud of you.”
In James 3 of the Message translation of the Bible, Eugene Peterson writes:
A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!
As a leader, this is magnified. As a spouse, it is magnified even more. As a parent, your words hold almost unfathomable power.
Telling someone “Great job” doesn’t count. “Great job” is the minimum. It’s expected after a project is completed properly.