If you are a parent, who are you really raising?
If you are a leader at work, who are you really leading?
When you look at these two questions the right way, it changes everything.
For the parents
Parents, you are not raising children, you are raising adults. (Tweet that)
When I look at our two-and-a-half year old daughter, Aracelli, it’s hard for me to look past her adorable eyes and see a grown woman someday soon. It’s hard for me realize that while she struggles now with pronouncing the letter “L” correctly (she makes a “W” sound), she may one day speak in front of thousands of people. It’s hard for me to see past her innocence and her purity.
Leadership, as in golf, rarely gives you a perfect lie.
Why do leaders train like so many golfers train?
I know incredibly talented golfers who will stand for hours secluded on a quiet range with the same club, hitting balls from a perfect, flat lie with no wind. The problem is that the tournament next week is on a hilly, windy course in front of 30,000 people.
In other words, they practice in a bubble…a perfect world scenario. But it’s far from what they will experience in a tournament.
We often train leaders the same way. We give them instruction on running meetings, compensation, and even how to handle conflict with team members, but always from a perfect lie. Rarely are their feet put to the fire or are they put off balance.
Who needs your love?
Like many people, my wedding included a reading from Chapter 13 of 1 Corinthians (AKA, the “Love Chapter”).
I’m pretty sure that every Christian wedding since approximately 125 A.D. has required at least portions of this chapter to be read. If it were not read, I am pretty sure the part of the wedding in which the pastor asks, “does anyone have any objections,” would have been followed by someone interjecting that the obligatory reading of 1 Corinthians 13 was missing.
I always took that chapter as “the marriage chapter.” It was great advice for husbands and wives, but it stopped there. I never applied these principles to other forms of leadership or relationships.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
“The problem with parents today is _____.”
Let’s stop right there and try a better statement:
The problem(s) with my parenting today is _____.”
Before we go any further though, welcome to day one of Family Leadership Week. If you missed the announcement post two weeks ago, this week is inspired by the book, Parenting the QBQ Way: How to be an Outstanding Parent and Raise Great Kids Using the Power of Personal Accountability by John Miller.
Here is what the rest of the week looks like:
Tuesday, March 5: Book Review of Parenting the QBQ Way
Wednesday, March 6: QBQ Practice. This one should be fun.
Thursday, March 7: Interview with John Miller, Part One
Friday, March 8: Interview with John Miller, Part Two