“It must be nice.”
That’s what someone said to me a while ago as I shared a particularly exciting experience. I was instantly deflated.
What they mean
No one ever says, “It must be nice” with a genuine smile and heartfelt joy for your circumstances. It’s always said with the intent to make you feel bad for your success and blessings, and to drag you down to whatever depressed level the hearer finds himself.
Each time someone said that, I felt judged. I felt like I had to qualify my joy. The voices in my head told me that I everything I had was undeserved and I knew what the underlying message meant in “It must be nice”:
You’re just lucky.
You live in a fantasy land.
I don’t want to hear about your joy.