“My meetings always seem to drag on at the end.”
I often hear that from leaders whose one-hour meetings always take the full hour (or more).
Despite the agenda being fully covered in 45 minutes, the team believes that somehow the remaining fifteen minutes marked on their calendars must be filled. There is seemingly an unwritten requirement somewhere that states that meetings scheduled for a certain time period must never last less time than was scheduled by the organizer. Pffft.
Congratulations to…Jim Ryan for winning a copy of Andy Traub’s new book, Early To Rise: Learn To Rise Early in 30 Days. Congratulate Jim on Twitter: Click here to tweet a message. This is a book that has seriously changed my life. The post you are reading (and almost every post you have ever read here) was written […]
I suppose that the 18th of the month is an appropriate time to say “Thank You” to my commenters for November. I try not to do more than one post each week without new self-generated content and with the flurry of guest posts (one last week, one tomorrow, and a few more coming up) I […]
We had some great commentary in November. This truly is what makes this blog so awesome…your comments. Your life experiences and reactions shared with everyone, for the benefit of everyone. Thank you for sharing! Here are some of my favorite comments from last month. Each of them below has an excerpt but I highly recommend […]
How do you break bad mind habits?
That is essentially the question that Jim Ryan asked last week on the post "Change Your Mind." Here is his exact question:
I’ve been thinking a lot about Mind Habits lately and this relates. To break our bad mind habits takes effort. Any suggestions on techniques that people use?
Here are five proven ways to change bad mind habits:
- Change your terminology. To this point, I have used the phrase "breaking bad mind habits" because it is familiar. But from now on, it is important that you change your terminology and your mindset. You are not breaking a habit, you are changing (or replacing) a habit. Habits do not go away. They are replaced. Just like you don’t stop eating altogether to lose weight, but rather you replace bad foods with good foods, our mission is to replace bad ones with good ones.
- Fake it until you make it. As I mention in my reply to Jim, changing a habit is an active process. By definition, habit-changing is forced. You are taking something that is subconscious and familiar and replacing it with something that is conscious and unfamiliar. It takes a lot of hard work. My father used the example of someone who has always used his right hand to turn a doorknob. This person has "practiced" that potentially hundreds of thousands of times. If he tries to switch to his left hand, he must force himself for approximately 28,000 repetitions to use his left hand. The ensuing months will be full of slip-ups and near slip-ups, reminders, and over time the development of a new, ingrained habit. At any point, especially early in the process, if pressure is applied (i.e. a fire in the house), odds are he will use his right hand to open a door. But eventually, using his left hand becomes the new norm and subconscious habit.
- Convince Yourself. I’ve gotten flak from some for my belief in the power of visualization and self-talk. Some think that they are too "new-agey" and nothing more than pop-psychology. But I know that they work. I have written about visualization here, here, and here. I have written about choosing to be happy here. These things work. There are two ways to convince yourself of something: to see it and say it. There are two ways to change bad mind habits: to see the right ones and say the right ones. Just like you must fake it at first and act in a manner that may not be consistent with your feelings, you must visualize and say things that are contrary to what you feel at the time. If you are constantly seeing the cloud in every silver lining, practice seeing yourself being positive and say to yourself, "I am a positive, upbeat, happy person" (Or better yet, write your own script).
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Thank you to my top commentators in October. My posts are only a small part of this blog. Your comments are what makes it so awesome! I’ll be posting the top comments soon. There were some amazing nuggets of awesomeness last month. Jon Stolpe Todd Liles Carol Dublin Bret Wortman Lily Kreitinger Mike Holmes Mark […]