Someone recently asked me an interesting question. “Aren’t you afraid that you’re indoctrinating your daughter?” I answered the question with a question of my own: If you don’t indoctrinate your children, who will?
NOTE: By the time you read this, my wife and I will most likely have welcomed our second child into the world, so naturally the topic of parenting is forefront on my heart and mind right now. That said, much of this post applies to anyone that you may lead.
Why I am Not Afraid of Indoctrinating Children (The Right Way)
I am not afraid at all of indoctrinating our daughter (or our future children).
The reality of the world is that someone is going to do it. Whether it’s the media, the latest pop artist, advertisers, or their friends at school, everyone else is attempting to influence her, so it’s my job to do it the right way.
How often do you negotiate each day? Odds are, you are negotiating all day long. Whether it’s negotiating your salary, a large purchase, a decision at work, where to go to lunch or convincing your child to do their chores. We negotiate all day long. Today’s guests will help you get the most of the negotiations you find yourself in.
About Today’s Guests
Margaret Neale is an Adams Distinguished Professor of Management at the Graduate School of Business at Stanford University, where her research focuses primarily on negotiating and team performance. She is the author of over 70 articles on the topics of bargaining and negotiating and is the coauthor of three books.
I only recently discovered that I am rich beyond belief. This was a shocking revelation to me and one that caused me to rethink everything.
According to GlobalRichList.com, I am the 2,974,323rd wealthiest person in the world. That puts me in the top 0.05% of all income earners on the planet.
You cannot measure influence with numbers. When I first started my blog, I spent a lot of time caring about things like subscribers, followers, and number of this or that. The problem with that is that none of those measured my true influence in the lives of others.
If you’ve ever fallen in the trap of trying to measure your influence, this episode is for you. So many of my listeners get caught up, like we all do, in statistics. We want to know our Klout score, how many downloads we got, or how many followers we have. But the voice that says those numbers matter is a lie.
If you don’t indoctrinate your children, who will?
I was recently asked by an acquaintance if I was afraid I was indoctrinating our three-year old daughter, Aracelli. I responded with a question of my own, the one I ask above.
No, I am not afraid of indoctrinating our daughter. In fact, I am intentional about it.
You have to choose who will indoctrinate your kids. You…or everyone else. (Tweet That) | Share this Graphic on Pinterest | Share on Facebook
The media is going to indoctrinate your kids into thinking that girls should act like sluts (Harsh word? Maybe, but I submit Miley Cyrus as proof). That’s how much of the world is going to tell our daughter how to act. And it’s going to indoctrinate boys into finding it attractive.
So by all means, indoctrinate them to think otherwise.
That is, unless you want a pregnant 16-year old with her third STD. In that case, go right ahead and let the television and her friends indoctrinate her.
Big food corporations are going to try to indoctrinate your kids (and you) into craving foods that kill you. Even worse, they will make you think they are healthy.
If you want to influence people, you have to understand them first.
If you want more sales, more followers, or more raving fans, you have to walk a mile (or ten) in their shoes.
Last year, I ran my first half marathon.
The first two people to take off from the starting line were two soldiers, dressed in full gear. I’m talking camouflage pants and coats, boots, and a nearly 100-pound backpack. For 13.1 miles!
As I passed them near the one-mile marker and then watched them cross the finish line long after me (I’m bragging that I beat two guys carrying the equivalent of my wife on their backs!), I realized something:
Listen to this post
It all started with a $20 bill.
That’s all it took to change me.
Perhaps you read my previous post, Act as If, in which I told you that in order to be anything, do anything, or have anything, the first step is to act as if you already are that person, are doing that thing, or have whatever you want. Perhaps you completely agreed with it. Or perhaps you thought it was mumbo jumbo.
Either way, did you know that it is 100% backed by scientific research?
In the back of my mind I did, but even I had forgotten about the principle of consistency when I wrote that post.
It took me almost eight years to figure out that great leadership is actually based in mathematics.
It’s a simple formula actually:
M < I * T
Me alone (what I can do by myself) is always less than what my Influence (training, motivation, encouragement) can do multiplied by a team.
“He made me feel like I was the only one in the room.”
Like him or not, Bill Clinton had a special gift. He was renowned for his ability to make people feel special. He had a unique ability to make one person in a room of 500 feel like the only one who mattered. And then he would make the next person feel the same way…and the next…and the next.
I’m about to share two incredible techniques that will:
Increase employee engagement
Get your kids more involved at home
Have customers coming back for more
Allow you to be an influencer-extraordinaire
One book that I have read and re-read is Yes!: 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive by Robert Cialdini, Noah Goldstein, and Steve Martin (not that Steve Martin. As far as I know this one is not particularly funny).
By now, there is more highlighted than there is not highlighted and each time a few chapters speak to me in a way they did not the first or eleventh times.